Becoming a Celibate “Father”

May 2019,

“I discovered a deeper meaning in the Our Father when I became a father myself,” said the Anglican vicar to me. I had just invited him to attend my first Mass after ordination in 1973. I believe he was just sharing something of his spiritual experience with me but it reminded me that as a Catholic priest I would never be a father.

Since my ordination I have been a missionary in Fiji. I have worked in parishes, taught in the seminary, evangelized among the ethnic Indian people and organized lay leadership courses. I am very grateful for my experiences and my life. A Hindu man who used to often join our little prayer group once surprised me years ago when he said, “It is right that we call you ‘Father.’ You left your country, you gave up a good job and a family, and you came here to show us the way to God. You are indeed a father to us.”

I have been in charge of the Formation Program in Fiji for our seminarians from the Pacific for the past five years. I encourage the seminarians to do their best in their study of philosophy and theology. I try to help them to know themselves and their motivation more deeply. I guide their prayer and worship so they come closer to God. I organize pastoral placements, help them reflect on their experience and learn the skills to help people spiritually.

I actually feel like a father to these young men – supporting, correcting and caring for them. We have guidelines for living together. But I have to trust them with freedom to make choices, and then help them to reflect on their decisions and learn from the outcomes. I have made mistakes and apologized for them. I have enjoyed the banter at table and around the yaqona bowl. I admire their qualities and have great hopes that they will become good missionary priests in the future.

I think I can say the Our Father, understanding something of its meaning too.

by Fr. Frank Hoare