21/9/1976,
My friend Manoj Datt arrived at the church just as I finished my meagre breakfast.
“Father, Let’s go to my uncle’s house to persuade the old man to come to a funeral today.”
“Why do you want me to persuade him to go to the funeral? It’s up to him, isn’t it?”
“My uncle’s daughter was treated badly by her Hindu husband a couple of years ago. My uncle complained and had a big falling out with Subramani, her father-in-law. They haven’t spoken since.
Subramani’s son was killed in a car accident a couple of days ago. The funeral is today. If we can persuade my uncle to attend the funeral the two old men will reconcile, because Subramani will have to greet him if he arrives for the funeral.”
We went to his uncle’s place. Manoj gave him the news of his son-in-law’s death. I chipped in and said that this occasion would never come again. We should all show our respect by attending the funeral. We played all our cultural and religious cards. It took a while but the old man eventually agreed to come with us.
A crowd of men were standing around the house of mourning. I didn’t know anyone and they all seemed to be staring at me wondering who this strange foreigner was. I decided to take courage and approach them. I shook hands with many of them and introduced myself as a priest and a friend of the dead man’s in-laws. That broke the ice and I no longer felt like a fish out of water.
After the funeral Subramani spoke to me. “Father,” he said, “My father and son have both died. I have no one now ahead of me or behind me. Will you come back here in a few weeks’ time and explain life and death to me.” I was amazed. This was a Hindu man whom I didn’t know putting that kind of trust in me. I was happy to accept. As we returned home I mused on how two families had been reconciled and I had an invitation to dialogue about the deepest questions in life with a Hindu family. What a unique opportunity for a missionary!
by Fr. Frank Hoare
